Uncontrollable

I’ve said it a few times in my weekly snippets. I am a control freak. I am not a recovering control freak; I am a full blown, bonafide, always got to make things best for everyone, control freak. And in my quest to make things perfect or at least better, I often obsess over things that are far beyond my control. And often, in the grand scheme of things they may not be as important as I feel they are in the moment.

Laser focusing on the right things is the only way to move the needle in life. So, when I came across this drawing it really resonated with me. Consciously focusing on that sweet spot of the things that matter most and the things I can control, helps weed out all the noise and allows me to focus on the core things that will have the greatest impact.

Taking this direction and getting curious daily when I am looking at an obstacle or a problem and asking myself does this really matter? Will it change my life or the life of the people around me? Can I control it? What can I truly control related to this issue? This not only leads to better results; it allows the release of some of the pressure and stress that “type A control freaks” place on ourselves. 

Understanding what is important can be easy to do if you just dedicate a little time to thinking about it. But knowing what you can and can’t control can take a little more effort. For example, your career, selling a house, or the amount of business you get are all not within your control. It may feel like it is, but we can’t control it. But we can control things that lead us toward the direction we want to go. For example: Getting 10 deals a month is not within your control but making 2 hours of sales calls a day is within your control. So, stop stressing about the 10 deals that you don’t have and start focusing on the two hours of sales activity you need to create. Stressing over not getting the deals will make you sick. Focusing on the sales activity will get you results.

Things within my control:

  • My focus

  • The people I surround myself with and listen to

  • My efforts

  • What I say yes to

  • My actions (habits, routine, food)

  • How I invest my time

  • My behavior and reactions

  • How I show up

  • My discipline

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.  - Viktor Frankl

 





Notes that Resonated:


  • If you see competition, you are playing too small

  • No challenge no change…. If it doesn’t challenge, you it won’t change you

  • What you seek you will find- Where is your focus?

  • If you find yourself drifting it is time to shift

  • Being “right” doesn’t cause drama. Wanting to be right, spending time proving your right, and fighting to be “right” does.

  • Great leaders learn to use their… head, heart and gut

  • Are you a leader the reveals or conceals?

  • When being candid in conversations… say all your truth in the most loving way possible

  • The Bible says, “Speak the truth in love.”





Things to Read


Although the title of the book implies this book is for leaders and CEOs, it’s also a book on self-leadership and growth.

Things you will learn:

  • How to end blame and criticism and unproductive conversations

  • Speak candidly, openly and honestly, in a way that invites others to do the same

  • Find your unique zone of genius

  • Let go of taking everything—especially themselves and their problems—so seriously

  • Create “win for all” solutions

  • Experience a new relationship to time and money where there is always enough




Podcasts to Listen to


Finding your zone of Genius

 




Top Quotes


  1. “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

  2. All success happens the same way: “action by action,” - Marcus Aurelius

  3. “If you set your goals ridiculously high and it’s a failure, you will fail about everyone else’s success” - James Cameron

  4. The key to control is not in controlling external events, but in controlling your own mind. -Epictetus

 





Cool Stuff:


Great little stocking stuffers and gifts. The gripper socks/slippers are super soft (cashmere), not too hot and very comfortable.  https://bombas.com/collections/womens-slippers




Food & Drink


Christmas treats to make with and give to family and friends:

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The Enemy in Me

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