Loved or Feared?
"It is better to be feared than to be loved, if one cannot be both." - Niccolò Machiavelli
Is this true? As a leader or even a parent is it better to be loved or feared? Can you have both?
Fear works: Fear is one of the most powerful motivators. It triggers the fight or flight response and drives us to move away from discomfort quickly. The greater the fear the faster and truer we move. The house is on fire go outside! Fear often keeps us alive. Harnessing this emotion is extremely powerful and is often used by leaders to further an agenda. Ex: Close three loans every month or you will be fired. Even marketers use fear to motivate us. We buy things like antibacterial soap, organic foods, and alarm systems to avoid pain and discomfort.
Fear is a powerful motivator but at what cost?
Can you have both? Fear and love are enemies. They have opposing goals and are almost always mutually exclusive. Fear drives us to protect ourselves and our control over our environment. Love drives us to protect others and our connection with them. Fear is most often used by people to maintain power, control, and drive an obligation. Love on the other hand is unconditional, compassionate, and completely open.
Most leaders don’t understand how to lead with love, and they use fear to keep people motivated and tethered to the organization. The commonly accepted thought is that if you don’t express your power and control, people will walk all over you and will not perform at their peak.
It’s almost the exact opposite. The more controlling a business or leader becomes, the more they stifle creativity, innovation, growth and the ability to drive change. People work and stay out of obligation not connection and eventually find their way out. When people are in fear mode, they can only focus on themselves and their survival of the day. When people are driven by fear, they are less likely to take risks out of fear of the consequences of making mistakes. This keeps the organization from evolution and growth.
People will always grow more and do more for leaders that they feel love them. They will endure more, perform better, and stay longer because they are able to move from survival mode to purpose mode. This allows people to thrive and consequently propels the organization forward.
The best leaders are the ones who help people, operate with love, and grow others so they eventually don’t need them.
“At any particular time, leaders are operating from either fear or love.” - Jim Dethmer
Which one are you and your leadership team leveraging?
Notes that Resonated
Some of the most beautiful things in your life will start with the ugliest of experiences
Always have Clear agreements. Who is doing what by when?
What energy are you bringing to the room when you show up with your people. Is it “me energy” or is it “you energy”?
There is always something to be grateful for
Just because results are not visible doesn’t mean they are not accumulating.
When it starts to rain… get a bucket
Videos to watch
Market Forecast after Fed meeting
Source material: (great to us for realtor and builder market updates and decks) https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14g9Y8Jnc7P29x23vH55ktOxCv6GVZCKnzFoI23_Li8Y/edit?usp=sharing
Top Quotes
“Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you.” - Mother Teressa
“We fear the future because we are wasting today.” - Mother Teressa
“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” -Mother Terresa
Things to Discover
Drops of God TV series- trailer linked below
Food & Drink
Summer dinner party menu:
Cool Stuff
Stop wasting business cards and try this
Dot metal business cards: https://dotcards.net/products/black-card
